Bible reflections

I was there

2024-01-17T00:00:00+00:00

When I was younger I couldn’t understand the song Were you there. Was it a rhetorical question? Of course I wasn’t there.

I took it as a way of inviting the worshipper into the scenes of the cross. Each verse a word-mural to ponder. Envisioning torment, ugliness, repulsiveness, and love. Imagining we were there. Which, when paired with the marvelous (dare I say Spirit-inspired) music, makes the imagery take wings in our hearts and certainly stirs up that imagination within us.

Today I realized it’s not just imagination. In truth, I was there when they crucified my Lord.

This morning I was in Psalm 36 and the portrait of the wicked man struck me, for it described a certain man in the mirror. For a while I had felt distant from the Lord, and through this passage I recognized that much of the block came from some major sin I hadn’t adequately dealt with. So I re-membered my sin, instead of dis-membering it (hiding from it, minimizing it, overlooking it). Played it over in the fullness of its rebellion, blindness, and evil impact. Seeing its horror, ugliness, repulsiveness. And sharing it with Jesus. Confessing its wrongness before Him. And then giving it to Him.

Then I read Psalm 51, and began to receive His unfathomable embrace.

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation And sustain me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, And sinners will be converted to You.

And then I read Psalm 32; how true it is!

I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I did not hide; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord”; And You forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah.

Therefore, let everyone who is godly pray to You in a time when You may be found; Surely in a flood of great waters they will not reach him. You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah.

And then hope for real growth, real life:

I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.

So I began to re-establish fellowship with the Lord. But it still troubled me. As I pondered this, my heart nudged me towards Were You There? So I took a walk and listened three times.

The first time, I pondered its ugliness and shame; trying not to look away in spite of its intensity. But to fixate on the crucifixion, the cross, the grave. To re-live it, to re-member its reality and its impact.

The second time, I realized I was there. I crucified my Lord. I superimposed the re-membering of my sin with the re-membering of Jesus’ crucifixion. I saw those made in God’s image being trampled by me, and then I saw the One who perfectly imaged God being trampled. I saw me nailing Him to the cross; to be scorned, held powerless, for all to see. I saw Him laid in that tomb. I saw the seeming finality of death. I even sensed a tinge of solemn remorse at such wicked actions, but no use; now He was dead. I was there.

The third time, I wept. Sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble. I realized the question “were you there…?” is something of a confession. A confession that I often live as if I wasn’t there. A confession that I often don’t look upon the cross. A confession that I don’t often enough experience its power. But when I do look, and dwell, and receive, I tremble. For His tree of death has become my tree of life.

And in the final verse, the joy of my salvation

Were you there when He rose up from the dead? Were you there when He rose up from the dead? Oh, sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble. Were you there when He rose up from the dead?

Life’s Treasure

2022-08-14T00:00:00+00:00

It has been quite a season. I’ve been working at PBCC as a software / tech director for the past month, and it has brought unexpected blessings. Blessings, especially in the form of meaningful connections with the pastors and staff, as well as blessings through the balance and structure it’s brought to many areas of my life. And I’m sure God has many more blessings and growth areas to bring up as we go! It’s also been a season of big transitions — in more ways than one. In the midst of the searching, re-orienting (and pain & hope!) of transition, God has proven Himself over and over as the Faithful and True. And I’ve found the weakness of my grip on Him to be exposed again and again. And I’ve discovered that Jesus is indeed, as Shawn likes to put it, the Great Lover. Shawn taught it from John. I’ve been soaking it in from Romans 8 — a real gold mine. --- One of the items I’d like to revisit during this transition is Sabbath keeping. I’ve greatly enjoyed and have been inspired by excerpts of the book *Keeping the Sabbath Wholly*, and want to re-introduce Sabbath keeping into my Saturday nights & Sunday afternoons. Even in an earlier season when I first tried Sabbath keeping, finding meaningful Sunday activities was a challenge! Truly it can be more challenging to rest well than to work well… Anyways, the point is that I’m hoping to share reflections on how God has been speaking to me more often! It seems like a good habit, in order to recount God’s work and to give thanks. --- Several weeks ago, John Hanneman gave a [sermon](https://pbcc.org/sermons/jeremiah-prophet-and-message/) overviewing the entire book of Jeremiah. It struck me that John described Jeremiah as “not a bullfrog”, but as “a friend”. Someone he could talk to, someone who would share a loving, realistic, and powerful perspective. And it was impressed upon me that Jeremiah is a friend I should get to know. In many ways, I felt similar to Jeremiah. I didn’t have an amazing calling from God as a teenager, well, not in quite the same way that Jeremiah did (Jeremiah 1:5-8), but I did have high expectations for myself, given the position I’ve been so blessed to be put into during my childhood and young adult years. And yet recently, perhaps much like Jeremiah, I wonder if I “peaked too early”. If all the hope and promise has come to fruitlessness. Jeremiah proclaimed a difficult message for 40 long years. Forty years! And with what result? Seemingly nothing. The people did not repent. Idol worship and abominable practices continued to pollute the land. Judah was hauled off to Babylon. Jeremiah was sent to Egypt. And not only was his work difficult (and seemingly interminable at times) it had great personal cost. Cost on his safety, his personal, social, and emotional wellbeing, cost in his being forbidden to marry or start a family. So what is the value of his life? What future can he hope for? Where does Jeremiah have to go that will be a broad place, a place where he may find hope, freedom, and joy? Like any good pastor, John posed the question and left it hanging in the air :) He only asked us in return: “what do you need from Jesus today, in order to be faithful to your calling like Jeremiah?” --- The related Scripture reading passage that Sunday was 2 Corinthians 4:7-12: > 7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. 11 For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So death is at work in us, but life in you. What an amazing passage! But what is this treasure? Well, one could make the case that it’s the ministry we’ve received from Jesus (4:1). Or, the gospel (4:3). Or, it could be knowing Christ intimately. “God… is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ” (4:6). Perhaps it’s all three, but I want to expand on the third. --- In the past several years, it’s become more and more evident to me that the greatest treasure in life, the broad place, the place where I can find endless hope, freedom, and joy, is in knowing Jesus. Getting to know Him more and more. Living life together. Falling deeper and deeper into love, into His love. Gaining perspective on His earthly life, and His resurrected life. It is an indestructible life. It is a life that always proceeds in triumph (2 Cor 2). For if we are treated unjustly, if we are ruthlessly betrayed — we get the privilege of walking in our Savior’s footsteps. If we are delivered from evil, we get to see the character of Jesus, His goodness and love. If we are redeemed, bought out of the death of our own sin — we get to bow at His feet and worship, joining in His life, which He lives to God (Romans 6). Not only have I found knowing Christ to be “a treasure”, or “a broad place”, (i.e. one good option among many…) I have found it to be the supreme treasure. The supreme joy, hope, and freedom. Surpassing all else. It doesn’t get any better than this! All else: service, sanctification, spiritual gifts, etc… flow more strongly through a life whose greatest treasure is knowing and being known by Jesus. What else could I ask for, but to know Jesus as my Lord, my Husband, my Redeemer, my Friend…! P.S. a friend noted: "isn't it funny how the narrow path is our broad place!"

Psalm 119: ABC’s

2022-05-11T00:00:00+00:00

Inspired by the petitions and confidence of David in Psalm 119, as well as the acrostic form. Written in a day where my faith was stretched

All Your words are true
But only some take root in my soul

Christ is here, right beside me
Draw my eyes to You, Lord!

Every day there is a drought
Fill my cup by Your Spirit

God is Father, provider of all
How could I look to another?

In any moment, I can live or die
Jesus, be my rock and shield

Know the Lord, that He is good
Lest you trade bread for stone, or fish for snake

Mountains of doubt leave crumbs of faith, yet
Nothing is too wonderful for You, Lord

Overwhelmed and confused, lost and uneasy
Present your body, a living sacrifice to the Lord

Questions abound: “Why this weakness”?
Replies are quiet: “to know My strength”

Sin overwhelms me, I cannot live well
Trust Me completely, My salvation to tell

Under any circumstance, will You hold me fast?
Very truly, my son: it was through the tomb that Jesus passed

Worship and praise, belong to Your name
Xylophones to trumpets, Your grace to proclaim

You are with me, every hour
Zero condemnation, and infinite power

Studies in the Proverbs

2022-05-06T00:00:00+00:00

[Post is a Work in Progress]

I’ve been at PBCC for over a year now, and I’ve had the amazing privilege of studying Scripture with many strong Bible teachers.

Romans, Ephesians, Philippians, and much more with the Lawry’s
Psalms, Ruth, and later parts of Genesis with Brian Morgan
Various sermons by Ray Stedman (including two series on prayer, Ecclesiastes, & Esther)
now Proverbs with Bruce Waltke (listening to recordings online)

Indeed, I’ve been extremely spoiled in the abundance of food available to me. I sometimes wonder if I’m over-nourished and under-exercised…

The little book of Proverbs has long held a special place in my heart. When reading it (whether the introduction in ch 1-9 or the proverbs themselves) it feels like I’m talking to an old sage, not only wise and a revealer of long-term outcomes, but also a dear friend of the soul. Someone who truly cares about me.

I must admit, for a while in my Christian journey I neglected the book a little: it felt low in “spiritual” content. Indeed, much of it felt merely like moral advice. Where’s Jesus in this? The power of the Spirit for sanctification, new life, service, and joy? It wasn’t until I heard Ray Stedman’s 1 sermon lightning overview of the book that I found the key to its interpretation: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, fools despise wisdom and instruction”. Aha! All of the proverbs must be read in light of the fear of the Lord, otherwise we can have no accurate knowledge of them. Then my enjoyment and appreciation of the book really took off.

So when I heard one of Waltke’s major life works is his thorough investigation of Proverbs, I couldn’t resist but to dive in.

It’s really quite amazing when you look at it. David penned a bulk of the Psalms and Solomon penned a bulk of the Proverbs. I wonder if the Proverbs are also to be read with the Psalms as the “backdrop”. Thankfully I get to learn the Psalms from Brian and the Proverbs from Bruce :)

I’m following Waltke’s Proverbs lectures on BiblicalTraining.org. These are notes on the first lecture: https://www.biblicaltraining.org/transcriptions/lecture-1-introduction-4

the Book of Proverbs remains the model curriculum for humanity, especially youth, to learn social skills in relation to God and others. As such, the Book of Proverbs invites serious study to teach and to understand its wisdom in a world characterised by mediocrity, superficiality and blatant foolishness.

There will be a lecture on safe guarding wisdom but the safe guard is being able to read Proverbs(!)

The key to the book is the fear of the Lord and how to develop a fear of the Lord. Chapter 2 of Proverbs is very fundamental in understanding Proverbs and perhaps the most important chapter in the book.

The woman of the night in chapter seven stands in contrast to wisdom of women who stand in daylight at the city gate; so you have the woman of the night who operates secretively and stays in the dark; it is death and then you have the woman of wisdom.

Note that the Proverbs are written in a way to develop a way of thinking; you have to think about them. It is a way of developing your mind. It is not as simple as it appears. It is more complex than that. For example in Proverbs 10:2b, ‘but righteousness delivers from death.’ Whose death? Yours death or someone else’s death or both; there is an ambiguity built into them that makes you explore it.

Key to understanding the book is understanding the meaning of the original Hebrew words – it is how they think
- e.g. the difficulty of translating Psalm 1: “does not stand in the way of sinners…”
  - translations differ by the target audience
- “accredited grammatical historical approach”
  - E.g. 1 Sam 9:9 — seer (ra’ah) and prophet (nabiy). The text defines what a prophet is, the Bible defines terms it thinks the audience doesn’t know.
Memory verses:
- Proverbs 1:7, ‘the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.’
- Proverbs 3:5-6, ‘trust in the Lord with all you heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.’
- Proverbs: 4:7, ‘wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and whatever you acquire, acquire understanding!’

I am no Ruth

2021-12-12T00:00:00+00:00

Reflection on Brian’s class on the book of Ruth. I was out of town for most of the class, so I only made the last session. Here were some of my gleanings.

Who was I,  
    that You would be my kinsman-redeemer?

I was not kin,  
    but a foreigner  
    hailing from an enemy nation.

What character had I before You?  
    Was there a pleasing fragrance in my name,  
    that you should declare,  
    "May I AM bless you?"

To whom had I shown hesed,  
    that I would be worthy to receive it?


But You spotted me in my desolate place.  
And You called out, with no hesitation.

I had no daring plan  
    to woo Your love  
But You,  
    You heeded the Father's daring plan  
    to woo mine.

You ran to me,  
leaving the riches of a palace  
    to walk where I walk,   
    to stay where I stay,   
    to make me a people,  
    to be my protector,  
    to die in my place

You bound the strong man,  
    and freed me from slavery.  
You spoke tenderly upon my heart  
    until I was gentled before You.

You refused my offer  
    to be a slave in Your house  
But You elevated me through marriage  
    that I should no longer call You my master,  
    but instead, my husband.


Jesus, thank You,  
    that I am Yours,  
and You are my kinsman redeemer.

Jesus, thank You,  
    for sharing the pleasing fragrance of Your name,  
    and the blessings of I AM.

Jesus, thank You,  
    that You have not stopped showing Your hesed  
    all the days of my life  
    and in me You are well pleased.

Jesus, thank You,  
    that though I am no Ruth,  
    Your hesed has the last word.

Joseph didn’t just cope!

2021-04-26T00:00:00+00:00

At the beginning of Covid, I had the sense that it would be big. Life altering. And I asked the Lord that it would be a defining event in my life, drawing me ever closer in my walk with Jesus.

And personally, 2020 was a year to remember. Definitely a hard year, but one in which the Lord showed up in marvelous and very tangible ways. However, as we rolled into 2021 some bad habits from 2020 persisted and began rearing their ugly heads. Particularly, the vice of wasting lots of time on the computer due to the pervasive lie that I just need to cope under the circumstances. It led to all kinds of dissipation and lack of discipline as mentioned in Ephesians 5. It became increasingly difficult to “look carefully how I walk, not as unwise but as wise, redeeming the time for the days are evil”. It became increasingly easy to be foolish – spending large chunks of the day as if He doesn’t exist, rather than discerning what His will is. And one of the most essential questions from 2020 (what is the Lord’s calling for my life, personally?) remained unexamined, not prayed about. Like many during Covid, I’ve been grappling with purpose and meaning in daily life.

One root of the issue is there are big uncertainties and concerns that I am not consistently addressing with Him and entrusting to Him. Instead, I’m just coping with the pressure. And coping makes me passive, I just “go with the flow”. It becomes a great excuse for my flesh to reign, usurping my identity (and power) as a completely new creation in Christ Jesus.

But yesterday, I had a breakthrough. Brian was teaching on the life of Joseph, this time on Joseph in Potiphar’s house. What struck me was how Joseph was a man not defined by his circumstances. No, he was always triumphant with God. Joseph never “just coped”. Instead, he lived with utmost integrity and thanksgiving to the Lord, always excelling wherever God placed him.

As Brian pointed out, in Genesis 38 Judah did everything wrong, repented and was free. In Genesis 39, Joseph does everything right, gets betrayed, and is imprisoned. Despite this, Joseph always prospered with the Lord no matter who betrayed him or what situation he was in! So also it was with Paul, who made each of his jail cells into a place of ministry and a sanctuary to write his epistles. He did not allow any place to define him. No, he actively sanctified the places he was in by the uncontainable life of the Spirit. These men understood that the Lord did not call them to merely survive, but to thrive in the worst of circumstances. These men lived out Psalm 1:

How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!

But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night. He will be a tree planted by streams of water, Which yields its fruit in its season And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers.

So the natural question is: I see that God was with Joseph, so Joseph prospered. But is God with me? If I am to take Him at His word, then yes, He absolutely is! And to a much greater degree than in the OT because His Spirit dwells within me! So what is “coping” or living “under the circumstances” (i.e. living passively, without hope) but unbelief? And if I ask with unbelief, how can I expect to receive what the Lord has to give? For He is always faithful to give, but my unbelief blocks me from receiving (cf James 1).

So I had the breakthrough: Abolish coping! For I always have the hope, the power, and the freedom to “live my best life”, because the only sufficient and necessary condition to living my best life is His presence! The idea that I need to cope, or that victory in life is too difficult is a lie that holds me back from taking charge of the territory in my life that the Lord has commanded me to take possession of. Joshua would never have taken the promised land if he just “coped” with the news of Anakim and other powerful peoples in the land of Canaan. Instead, God commanded:

This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Here’s where the charge to “subdue and rule” from Genesis 1 came alive to me. He has truly given me the hope I need (and flowing from hope, the power I need) to subdue the flesh and walk in discipline, making the moment-by-moment choice to walk in hope and not frustration or anxiety. I am given authority to reign over all that comes from within by the Spirit. In my case, the Lord is calling me to steep myself in His word, meditating on it day and night, and to entrust life’s difficulties to Him that I may walk in discipline (or self-control/temperance, a fruit of the Spirit) in view of the hope I have in Emmanuel.

So this is a lesson that I’ll take away from this season, along with many others. Victory is always available to me! I say again, victory is always available to me as I actively partner with Him to subdue and rule!

O Lord, thank You for the hope to subdue and rule the undisciplined sluggard of the flesh, for there is victory I’ve been deceived into thinking was not possible! Indeed it is not possible apart from You, but in You I am free to succeed! Darkness has no power to resist light. My light is Your life in me. Amen.

Ponder anew what the Almighty can do if with His love He befriend Thee!

* not all coping is bad, but I refer to coping in the flesh. It’s living without hope, refusing to take God at his word. “But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place.”

P.S. I’d like to write with a lot more focus & clarity than this, but clearly I have more than 1 thought running through my head so I figured I’d just put a lot of them down. Two other Scriptures that came to mind were: “not by might and not by power, but by My Spirit says the Lord of hosts”. And “the Lord does not save by many or by few”. It’s amazing how God communicates: at RBF we sang A Mighty Fortress, and then sang it at PBCC. We went through the Joseph story & Psalm 1, and I was recently in James and Joshua, which brought to mind the Genesis 1 passage of all things. In Parakaleo, we went through Eph 5, and did a study on Jesus as the Light, noting that darkness has no ability to overcome light. It seems that everywhere I turn, Scriptures say: “feed deeply in My word and truly trust Me for victory in life! Not good circumstances, but always victory!”

A helpful talk I watched a couple days ago:

Words of Jesus Devotional Study

2020-11-24T00:00:00+00:00

This is the start to a devotional study that I’m doing on the life and words of Jesus.

I’m not following a devotional book or guide for this study: just using a NASB study Bible, an NIV study Bible and their various study helps, and Vine’s expository dictionary for reference. And most importantly, praying that each time I open Scripture the Spirit would open my heart to truly hear His words to me.

I was inspired to do this study by a wonderful document compiled by my spiritual parents in 1977(!) titled “Life with Father”.

It documents various wonderful occurrences of the Lord’s amazing, timely, and sweet provision in their lives. In the center of the paper (which was typeset via typewriter) there’s a handwritten note that says:

Do not be anxious for your life as to what you shall eat or what you shall drink; nor for your body as to what you shall put on…

But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added to you.

and on the other side, it explains God’s name, Jehovah, or I AM:

for “whatever you need, I AM”

and wrapped around the margins:

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly beyond all that we can ask or think… (who knows what we need before we ask)… to Him be the glory… [in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.]

It convinced me that deeply knowing and truly living the words of Jesus will lead me to know Him and experience Him to a much greater degree than I ever have to date. Hence, this study!

May You open
  my ears,
  my eyes,
  and my heart
that I may
  hear You,
  see You,
  and follow You
Lord Jesus!

Note: at first I hoped to “complete” this study in a couple months. But then a friend reminded me: it takes a lifetime to know Jesus! So these posts may be very sparse throughout the years. But hopefully they will still come, Lord willing.